poop-zombie

   My mom is so tired she said I have to help her type. So, sorry if this doesn't look so gooooooooooo d. My paws are not dexterous enough to handle these tiny keys. But, I used the word dexterous in a sentence, so the day is looking good so far! 

   I have some good news friends, Mom told the guy on the other end of the phone that she doesn't want to work full-time picking up dog poop! Hooray! I believe she will be home more now which is for the best. I've been having to push the boundaries a bit, cause if she isn't here, I'm next in line for succession. And really, who wants to spend ten hours a day lifting thirty pound bags of poop, when they could be with me?  No one in their right mind, clearly. 

   Mom says she is gonna start a garden when she ever has time. But she says she has to double check how much of what she grows we can eat, cause apparently our neighborhood (which is called Seward to humans, not Gus and Bandit's Territory) has some poison in the ground. I eat dirt on occasion and I am doing fine, so I think she's over thinking things. I am excited for the prospect of chillin' in the front yard though. It's a rare treat to get to hang out in front cause there's no fence and Bandit gets too excited and barks at everyone.

   Geez. Ok, my Stenographer says her "everything" hurts and she wants to eat something before she goes and picks up poop forever so she's done with typing. I'm glad she's cutting back on this job cause I need her in working condition if she's gonna feed me and stuff.