A blog about dogs, marriage, life, butt-sniffing, and depression.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Guard Dogs to the Rescue!

   Ok, so big news guys. Last night, Bandit and I heard some noises coming from outside, and we (as usual) sounded the alarm to let Mom and Daddy know that stuff was happening. Daddy shushed us (as usual) and Mom didn't wake up. She's kinda scary like that. Then Grandma came running in from the other side and said "You guys! Get up and close your windows! There's a guy hiding from the police somewhere on our block and they don't know where he is! The neighbor got held outside his house for a half hour cause they had to verify who he was! There's cops everywhere!" Mom finally woke up and looked out the window and when I saw what she was looking at I howled like crazy! There were about five cops across the alley with K9 companions and flashlights, creeping through the dark yards and looking for someone. There were more cops in the other yards on our block, we could hear their dogs barking and see the lights from their flashlights flashing across our windows. Mom and Dad closed the windows in the rest of the house and locked them, and we went back to the bedroom to try to sleep. 

   We didn't really sleep but Mom did (what is wrong with her?) and she was startled awake when we heard "FREEZE! PUT YOUR HANDS UP!" from right outside our window. Bandit and I started going crazy and we heard the German Shepard from the K9 unit barking like mad from just outside the window. Mom jumped up and went to the window while Daddy tried to calm us down (yeah right). Mom said that outside the window in our neighbor's yard (luckily an abandoned house) there were about fifteen cops, with dogs. On top of the neighbor's garage/garden shed there was a man wearing a white wife-beater (wtf is up with that name?) he had his hands in the air and the cops said "GET DOWN! NOW!" the guy looked sort of pathetic and said "Ok..." He extended his arms to the cops. "Will you catch me?" The cops said "FUCK NO we're not gonna catch you! Get down!" They grabbed his hands and pulled him from the roof onto the ground, where they laid him on his front and put him in hand cuffs. Mom said this all happened about four feet from her face (in the window). I was too busy freaking out. Then the cops kept saying things like "Dude! Was that him? Is that the dude? That's the guy we saw in the front yard!" and "I was like 'DUDE! GET AWAY FROM THE FUCKING DOG! HE'S GONNA KILL YOU!'" Mom sat in the window for awhile listening to all of the cops unwinding and repeating the story to newcomers. All I heard was the hoity-toity K9 dog barking at Bandit and I. And a lot of the words Fuck, Fucking and Fucker. 

   Grandma came over again after finally getting Lucy to be quiet. She said that she was lying in bed after the cops had moved on from our yard and she heard the back gate creak. She immediately had to calm Lucy down, but when she laid back down she thought she saw something on the neighbors garage roof. She looked closer and there was a guy lying down on his back on the roof, she just noticed him cause he was levering himself up on his elbow to look over the edge. She called the cops and the lady on the other side of the phone told her not to scold Lucy for barking cause she was doing exactly what she should. Good lady. Then she said she would let the cops know where the guy was. So Grandma was a hero! Bandit and I were trying to tell everyone what was happening but no one wanted to listen. Typical. Still, I'm glad Grandma figured it out cause I didn't want to know what that guy was gonna do to my yard if he didn't get caught. Probably cover up my pee with his own. Not cool.

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