DQ!!!

   Hello everyone. My Mom left me today so she could go hang out with other dogs and pick up their poop. But it wasn't too bad cause great-aunt Wendy came over and we went to DQ. There is nothing like Dairy Queen. It is a supremely sensual experience. The hot pavement beneath my paws, the anticipation as we walk closer and closer to that tantalizing smell. Then we are there, at the shiny red brick counter, and the intensity of the sniffs coming out of that tiny window is incredible. When they finally set that doggy-sunday on the ground its more than I can bear. The creamy smoothness, that icy temptation...

   Sorry. I drooled a bit there. It happens a lot. Mom says she's thinking about quitting the poop-scooping position, if she can find some other job. I'm hoping she'll find something where she can work from home so she can hang out with me, and we don't have to worry about being left alone. But she is spending a lot of time on the computer, looking at that screen. What does it tell her? Who knows. Something about going back to school and paying application fees. Why do Mom and Dad talk about such boring things? Bandit and I limit our conversation to really important stuff, like "this is mine. Back off." or "Hey, wanna sniff my junk?" 

   Sometimes us dogs do a pretty good job of communicating with humans. Like this dog Mom told me about today. She comes up to a yard, all ready to pick up poop. There at the gate is a young chocolate lab pup, wiggling its whole body at the sight of a stranger approaching its yard. (who trained this dog? Doesn't she know she should be protecting her territory?)Anyway, Mom goes in the yard and offers the dog some of my freeze-dried lobster treats. The dog promptly takes the treats and runs off. So Mom gets to work, picking up poop and checking the yard for any missed piles. Then all of a sudden a black plastic dog bowl flies into view. She looks up and there is the lab puppy, staring straight at her and wiggling to beat the band (what band? Who knows). Mom is a pretty smart human so she got the message right away. The pup was clearly saying "Fill this bowl with lobster please, it was delicious and I would like more." But if I know anything about Mom its that she may understand what you want from her, but that doesn't mean she's gonna give it to you. So she kept working, and every time she stopped moving the puppy threw the black bowl at her. When Mom was ready to leave she had been laughing for so long her sides hurt. She decided to give the dog one last piece of lobster for being so damn determined and cute.

   Let this be a lesson to you, fellow dogs. NEVER give up. If you are cute enough you will always get more. And if you can, meet my Mom cause she is one of the few humans who carries freeze-dried lobster with her everywhere. Now, I'm gonna fall into an ice cream induced haze. See you guys later.