Oww.

    Hello friends. I have had a very stressful day. I have been the victim of an attempted murder. Well, double murder if you count Bandit. Here's the story, not dramatized at all.*

   It was a cloudy morning, not the sort of day that makes you want to sit outside and enjoy the weather. But my parents were determined to get some  exercise and enjoy whatever sunshine was filtering through the clouds. So we leashed up,(extendo leashes so you know something great is gonna happen) and headed out into the great unknown. Soon Bandit and I were enjoying ourselves as the sniffs of the neighborhood flooded our senses. We were even more overjoyed to find ourselves directed to the stairway that leads to the white sand beach on the Mississippi. Once we reached unpaved ground we were told we didn't have to heel (what? Thats an option!?) and things started looking up. Soon we were at the beach, and Man does that sand make me wanna do sprints. My Mom took a chance and let us off leash (everyone lets us guys off leash there, its an unspoken rule) and Bandit and I raced in circles up and down the hill to our hearts content. 

     Later we even got really brave and took turns trying to get the washed up logs out of the water. It was cold, but that's just the kind of non-wimpy dog I am.**  

    Then, as we sniffed our way over onto the narrow dog-paths that run parallel to the river, we found ourselves facing an unknown assailant. By this point we had met several pretty cool dudes who were also off-leash, and Bandit had barked and jumped in circles while attempting to play-bow. I tend to play it cool and just go straight to the butt sniffing, but to each his own I guess. This dog was different, I could feel it in his cold stare. He looked at me, and I looked at him, and neither of us moved. Then Bandit who was (as always) a step behind, noticed him for the first time. He came running up, bounding straight for the dog. For some strange reason, the dog's owner came running up at this point shouting "NONONONONONO!" Then the dog tried to kill Bandit. 

    I ran backup, running in close and barking my toughest bark. Then Mom came in and grabbed Bandit from the dog, so the dog decided to kill me instead. I saw it all as if in slow motion, he turned his head, slobber falling from his tremendous bared teeth, and then he pounced as I opened my mouth to roar a challenge. He grabbed me by the back of the neck and managed to scrape my side a bit before Daddy came to the rescue and dragged me away. I remember Bandit sitting in Mom's arms, screaming bloody murder cause he couldn't come back me up. He may be annoying sometimes but we are family, and we got each others backs. Mom and Dad sorted everything out from there (it was all a bit of a blur, what with my adrenaline pumping the way it was) and we all went our separate ways. Mom said something about it being ok, and no one was really hurt, dogs will be dogs, and sometimes you just don't like someone on the first impression. 

   But let me tell you ladies and gentlemen, if you see a fuzzy golden/shepard mix out there, you better beware. He's still out there, on the streets, looking for more blood. Until tomorrow- Be safe, and have a good night. If you grill in this sunshine, remember to save me some. 

*Stenographers Note: This story is highly dramatized. 

**Stenographers Note: He took turns holding his paws out of the water cause they were damp and cold.